Melancholia

Year: 2011

Grade: F-

Country: Denmark

Director: Von Trier

Review

i learned two things from watching this movie: 1. kirsten dunst has a nice rack 2. lars von tries too hard has nothing to say anymore.

ok, the real review. this might actually be the worst film i’ve ever seen. usually i will tell someone that gigli or kangaroo jack or something like that is the worst film ever. true, those are epically bad films. gigli had good actors and a capable director who came together to make a steaming pile of horse shit. but it’s also a film that is so bad, and bad in such a way, that you can make fun of it. melancholia is not like that at all. it’s just bad. really bad. honestly, if not for the low cut wedding dress the dunst wears in the beginning, the first half of the film would be utterly unwatchable. because of the dogma movement i had confused von trier as the maker of “celebration,” (it was actually vinterberg) which is actually quite a good film. unfortunately for von trier, he didn’t direct that. he did do dancer in the dark and the idiots (both of which i watched and didn’t like) as well as dogville, breaking the waves and antichrist. he also did a documentary called the five obstructions which was intellectually interesting. long story short, the guy isn’t much to write home about yet people still watch his films because he strikes a chord. often it’s a very bad chord. i’ve heard awful things about breaking the waves, for example, which makes me want to watch it despite my bad experiences watching his other movies. i heard great things about dancer in the dark and antichrist. whatever.
melancholia isn’t an offensive film, it’s just awful. terrence malick is probably thrilled that someone else made a pretentious piece of shit this year. i bet von trier wishes he had thrown in a scene with a dinosaur or two; it would have made for a better film. frankly if he had found a way to put in some of his personal views on hitler in the film i would have found it more watchable. it would have been a more reprehensible film, but at least it would be watchable.

Watched in theater