Twilight Saga: New Moon

Year: 2009

Grade: F+

Country: USA

Director: Weitz

Review

probably not as bad as the last one, but still a god awful film. the first one had that pale, sad looking twerp in it too much. here he’s just in the beginning and the end so most of the middle we are allowed to forget about him. it’s still the same old shit with the girl who loves to see guys fight over her and who wants to be protected. she’s caught in the middle of two worlds, this time it’s the wolves and the vampires, instead of the vampires and the humans. it’s really basic and dumb stuff. there isn’t any character development anywhere in the film, the script is awful and laughable. the motivations of the characters are about as simplistic as one can imagine. she apparently loves him so much it literally hurts and i guess he loves her too or something. in the end they think about getting married and the movie ends. it’s an amazing cliffhanger if you’re into the movie in which case waiting 7 months to see the next one is probably going to be the hardest thing you’ve had to do in your sheltered, pathetic life. i kid.

this is just a bad movie and no one over the age of 13 should consider watching it. honestly, i think the film is so successful with the kids because it’s written by them. there’s probably some programmer out there who wrote a program that looks on internet blogs of teenage girls and it cuts and pastes fairly random passages from the blog into the screenplay. then the program merges the blog puree with some random vampire stories and out comes the new twilight installment.

Watched in theater